Coming Out

[jacki_PREV (deleted)]

My daughter began her life as a smoker under the description of "closet smoker". She loved smoking immediately, but had a hard time at first bringing herself to smoke in public. She was always running someplace private to smoke. To this day, she'd rather smoke in private than in public, but thinking back to late 2001, there was something I did which I feel made it easier for her to come out.

After she started, I always took us out for Friday night dinner. Dinner was secondary; the primary reason for going out to dinner was to give us both the opportunity to smoke in public. We'd be in plain view of everybody, she'd see me comfortably enjoying my cigarette, and would eventually light one up herself. After dinner, we'd stroll the street, window shopping, and of course, once I'd light a cigarette, she'd follow suit. And while she's never become fully comfortable smoking in public, her confidence did increase dramatically within a couple of weeks.

So my suggestion for the closet smokers; meet up with someone else that smokes, and is not abashed about smoking in public. Then go out for the evening, for dinner, a few drinks, or a walk on the streets. I believe the camaraderie of being with another smoker will help you greatly!

[smokeacamel]

I know what you mean about a teen being uncomfortable with smoking in public. I was secretive about it until I was probably 18. I would have welcomed the approach you've taken in helping your daughter become comfortable with smoking in public. I'm sure she appreciates what you've done for her.

[spitefulcrow_PREV (deleted)]

I agree completely. Being in the closet my self, I'd love that kind of opportunity.

[brewens_PREV (deleted)]

The first time I smoked in public was at the beauty shop getting my hair cut. I was about 14 and a hot brunette named Betsy that worked there gave me a cigarette.
Probably the 2nd and 3rd time in public there too. I had a huge crush on Betsy and never forgot to bring my own cigarettes again. Trying to show her how grown up I was.
Other than there and my girlfriends house I had to hide it. My girlfriends mother let us smoke. Back then more adults figured it was just part of growing up

[joinme]

I like being in the closet and don't really want to change. Yes, the thought of being in public is intriguing and maybe if I'm somewhere outside of my comfort zone with an attractive female smoker... I can be talked into that!

[bigbelly83 (deleted)]

I feel a bit like i'm in the closet with my smoking habits. Very few people on my road smoke and none expose themselves smoking. The neighbours all watched me grow up and if they see me doing something which is supposedly "bad" then they will feel i'm an embarrasement to the street. As well as that, not a single member of my wider family smokes which makes it extremely difficult when at family functions.

Apart from that I have no fear of smoking in public and especially enjoy it because i'm hoping that a woman will be impressed by me smoking in the same way that I am attracted to women who smoke. I also enjoy smoking in private where I can just enjoy a cigarette without having to talk or be hastled.

[gtw4891 (deleted)]

you gotta remember though that eventualy you will be caught out an so you just have to deal with it. yeah, you may get some stick from people who disagree with smoking but thats their problem not yours.

[smokeyb3]

I started as a closet smoker, at least around my non-smoking friends. But when I went to college away from home, I found that I no longer felt bashful about it. I also started to make a lot of new friends, many of which were also smokers. Besides, sooner or later the addiction kicks in and the need for a cigarette outweighs any desires to prevent people from knowing that you smoke. It also becomes virtually impossible to hide the scent of cigarettes on your clothing/breath.

At this point I don't really care if people know I smoke. I try not to be in their face about it, but there are the inevitable conflicts with the non-smokers. And the comments. Which I don't particularly enjoy, but I'm not going to apologize for it either.

[alandodds123 (deleted)]

ive been a closet smoker for 5 years no one knows i smoke. i sneak off all the the time for a fag, im now smoking between 20 and 40 a day, still on the sly. i love my fags so much, wish i could come out but cant

[marts100 (deleted)]

I was a closet smoker for a few years as a teenager, until my mother found a cigarette end one day - and blamed my brother for it! I had to own up to stop him getting into trouble. LOL

(removed)

[halfdragon]

`I am a total exhibitionist when it comes to smoking. So imagine that there are places in which I must be a closet smoker. I feel like a skitz! But seriously, I have hidden from my parents and family that I smoke for the past 22 years. Lots of cologne and breath mints until it makes me sick. In some settings, I love to smoke and show it. Other settings, I hide it like the plague! In the places I hide it, I would 'die' if someone caught me. In the other places, I want everyone to watch! Go figure! Good example, eh?

[smithbill1000]

`I pretty much have to be a closet social smoker, accept when I'm with my friends who smoke. My wife is an anti-smoker and would not be pleased to know that I have even only the occasional cigarette. Looking back I wish I had told her I like to smoke back when I first met her, probably would have gone over okay. If I tell her now, it would only cause problems. I sometimes wish she had a friend or a family member that would turn her on to smoking so I wouldn't have to hide my smoking from her anymore.

[dangleman]

`i can t understand why people have to to hide when they smoke. smoking is a wonderfull thing and i am proud to be a smoker. i want that everybody see me when i smoke my cigarette in public and i like to show that my favourite brand is marlboro...everybody want to have a brand new pack everyday like me but they don t have ther real marlboro attitude. everybody know me as a smoker and i smoke everywhere, i don t care about the non smokers around...they are jalous because they can t blew some smoke around like me....every marloro smokers love the smell of their cigarette....our smoking style , our attitude and our pleasure with our expensives cigarettes are more important than everything and we hate all the non-smokers. i will make a video clip and i will show that i smoke for real to everybody.....now let s smoke