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![]() Posted: Post subject: The big cloude- my story |
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excuse my bad english- and mybe that is not a realy story at the smoking fet--- section
Intro:
This story is about smoking. And it’s a real part from my life and so very personal. I cut some privates thinks off and some details, the give it not the touch for all the jerks here. Fist of all I am NOT a guy how like to cough or even have fantasies dieing of cancer. In the opposite I am afraid about that. I still air my flat an d I enjoy the fresh smell of a non-smoking home. Most readers may be fakes or freaks and I am not want to become part of them. I still don’t know it any of the females being here true females but men hiding behind such profiles. But if there is of you out there – pls. say hello.
I started much later then the avg. , is was 27 people might say old enough to know better. I changed from a “ I hate to smoke type†into one who is fallen to cigarettes. Even more I like to watch women smoking, inhaling deeply as a sign of their addiction and the arrogant and lascivious touch of it became a turn on (not an obsession). And I also like smoking myself .
The accident
All started with an accident. I was a professional athlete until my mid twenties. I compete international (and successful), travelling around the world, have good money, chicks – what a life, making a hobby to a profession. I even won some major titles. Sometimes party yes, no alcohol and always care about the “performanceâ€Â- an all serious athlete. That time I lived together with female friend. We knew each other for years and I gave her accommodation after she broke up her marriage. A nice and handsome woman. A friend- no more no less. The house was big enough. She feeded my cats when I was somewhere in the world riding my bike, an I had a good dude for talks when I stayed at home. The only point I don’t liked her for then was her smoking. She was the “normal teenage starter†and I gave her a hard time. When I was in a bad mood – being not in a good shape or have a small injury I let her smoke outside even in winter (and it become really cold here).
I guess nobody of you know the sea otter classics in Monterrey, Cal., the international season kick of each year. The race was on, everything was normal leading group, few miles to go and “ ----ing good legsâ€Â. I don’t know what happened I woke up in hospital some days later, pain- a vertebra was broken – a small screw made the difference from being debilitated or not. A year- at least and month in bed. Career was over, the chicks disappear as fast as I am kicked them all the time before and so some friends. Back home I needed to stay a few month in bed – once a day a therapist showed up the rest was just a big emptiness. So my friend feed the cats and ME. It took a while until I realised I don’t have to go to sleep early (to bed ?– lol-I was in bed all the time), having a beer more often. one night we played scrabble with small wager Beth ask me to smoke a cigarette to collect the debt. I did and I don’t like at very much. After some more beer I had another or two or three – I don’t know. I remember the still bad taste in my mouth the next day. We did again I few more nights. After coming back from another two weeks stay at hospital the apartment was really smoky. We had a big fight because of that- I told her I regret that I let her move in – I was not very kind, she left crying. Next day I realised I needed her help- I was hungry and wanted something to drink. I tried a social service but – forget it- going back to the hospital would ruin me and the out look for the next 4 month would be a with wall. I was still more then 20 hours a day in bed and cant leave the flat. Meek as a lamb I called her to come back. Nothing. I tried again. Nothing. I ordered some flowers and finally she came back. Silly me I thought everything was ok. The first she said showing up in room was that I will pay back all the s--- I gave her because of her smoking over two years. She will make some rules or she will leave- that time would be forever. Asking her what I could do she handed me her half smoked cigarette and told me smoke this and left the room. She told me she will offer me a cigarette from time to time I should not even think about to refuse. I never saw her so angry and decided saying this. From time to time- each time I ask her the bring me a coffee, cold drink she handed me cigarette first. After a few days I ask her when she will stop that farce and she left without a word. Hospital or the jerks from the public service? When I begged her to come back she showed up gave me a pack at should last as long as I will think about to have her here or not. I should call her when I am finished with “thinking†(In the result I was a day without something to eat- that made me think faster). Month moved away. Smoking became normal and so walking, doing normal things. I smoked maybe 20 cigarettes a day. Marlboro lights Beth stayed most time at new flame, doing some household things and shopping for me. The first time I realised that I am hooked was the day when I called her some Saturday night – I disturbed her at a party- and told her that I was running out of cigarettes. I remember the laughing at the other end of the line. An endless laughing. Some minutes later a taxi came he handed me a carton and said that he should give me a first aid package as a gift from a friend. I thought about this lil B---- with a smile and meanwhile I rip open the carton and immediately lit up. What a pleasure.
A year passed by out of 20 cigarettes a day became a pack and a half a day, then two and some more when I go out to party. I dated some non-smoking girls, felt like I wasted time. At first I thought I just felt uncomfortable because of being not polite smoking then, but I missed the art of smoking. Once that time at a business trip I hade ONS with a French model. She was smoking all the time- and that was great. Heaven. Its the art of smoking, the passion all the arrogance in every drag. When I tell you she smoked all the time – I mean she smoked all the time and in every situation. Its even hot when I look back to that night.
Ok all my GF’s the past few years are smokers some of them smoke a lot. But there is a difference. Talking about to quit, feeling bad smoking much or doing it like dinking or eating. Non of them celebrate her smoking, non of them put her cigarettes into the play, non of them saw the signs I send or even gave me a chance for a coming out. Do I have a smoking fetish? Yeah!
I finish her and I finished the pack – meanwhile prince denmark |
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